Last night I got a full night’s sleep because I’m in New York for work. And you know what? It was good, but not amazing. Traveling for work seems like it might be the coolest thing ever to some people, but for me it’s just another work day, and another night away from my family.
I’m lucky this time, though. My family lives in Pennsylvania, so I was able to bring little Peanut with me and have her stay with my mom while I work. When I’m done in New York, I’ll spend the rest of the week working from my mom’s house, and spending the nights with family I don’t get to see frequently…although now they only care about seeing my little girl, not me! Haha!
So my sleep last night was…uninterrupted. I can’t say it was blissful, peaceful or amazing. I missed my baby, my husband, and I just missed being in a familiar place. I did get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but it was just as hard to wake up this morning as it was to wake up any other day, even though I didn’t wake up multiple times a night!
I wouldn’t trade my sleepless nights for anything in the world. I love rocking my daughter back to sleep after she’s eaten. I love looking at her in the dim light of her nursery at 2am. And I love and cherish these moments because I know that some day she won’t want me to rock her. To hug her. To whisper that I love her. Some day she’ll hate me because I didn’t let her go out and play, hang out with that boy, or go to that party. It terrifies me, but it also makes me realize how ahead of myself I’m getting. Because right now, I still get to have these moments of exhaustion, eyelids stuck permanently in a lopsided half-open state…but they’re filled with so much love and warmth, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
To all the mommas with the sleepless nights and eye crusties that seem permanently fixed on your lower lashline…as crazy as it is, embrace these moments, because we all know they won’t last forever, and in a blink of an eye, we’ll be at the next stage, looking back and holding on to these memories in our hearts.